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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

reflection...


i received a really heartwarming email today, about being grateful for watever that we have now, compared to what other unfortunates out there are experiencing. I dunno, maybe the hormones still lingering around the system, but it nearly teared me off...looking at those pics of those children in africa,middle east,etc.then it also triggerred me how i've been really impatient with my kids n scold them off once or twice when there are thousands if not millions out there trying their hearts out to have a child(that, includes my dear brother, may Allah bless him n his wife with a zuriat one of these days, ameen). i feel awful. i feel like wanting to go to my babysitter's hse n hug my daughter n apologise again n again for being such an impatient mummy. how could i be one?she's just a kid..just bcos she's been crying non-stop i got freakish mad!what the heck was i thnkg?i'm not a good mummy..i try to be..but i thnk i failed..i dunno. too much pressure?from work?2 kids at home?crying for attention?while hubby's out making some xtra cash for the family?i dunno..i'm wishing n praying hard that god gives my PATIENCE, which i'm really lacking off. i should always remind myself to thank GOd for giving me such beautiful kids. time is hard, we all know, but me n hubby are doing all we can to survive. geez..our hse will b ready next yr insya-Allah so again, money has to be in the picture. so when hard times like this hit us, i'm just grateful to having syahzad's n dina's faces to look at as for sure, all the drowsiness, unhappiness seems to vanish..sorry kids..ibu love u lots!!